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    media matters

    by  • July 6, 2015 • Uncategorized

    Ever since Charleston, I’ve been watching myself. I’m so far from perfect you can’t even see it from my breakfast table, but I’ve been asking the questions, over and over: where am I actively, outspokenly, effectively, daily anti-racist?  Where am I not?  How can I do better? Certainly, I’ve done better on Facebook.  I...

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    the heart of the matter

    by  • June 22, 2015 • Uncategorized

    Charleston. Holy shit Charleston. I wrote a piece that isn’t ready for the public eye, and may never be.  Because holy shit. And now I’m writing this, because the debate has devolved in many quarters into the meta debate: what is this really about anyway?  Is it race or guns or the history of...

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    love the world

    by  • May 25, 2015 • Uncategorized

    My alarm goes off at 9:30 every morning. It’s not there to get me out of bed (my body pretty reliably does that). It’s not there to tell me I’m late (every day is different). It’s there to tell me to love the world. I have an Android phone.  It lets me change things,...

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    enough special butterflies

    by  • May 20, 2015 • Uncategorized

    this is a loving ass-kicking for my fellow coaches.  if you’re not a coach, you’re welcome to read along Dear Beloved Coaching Colleagues, We have a problem.  Many of us need more clients.  But we’re going about it ALL WRONG. We like to think of ourselves as special, we coaches.  After all, we didn’t...

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    don’t give up

    by  • May 19, 2015 • Uncategorized

    I shared this on my Facebook feed recently; it’s an article about how someone realized she was criticizing everything her partner did, in a way that was neither helpful nor respectful, and was probably damaging.

    It’s Just Hamburger Meat

    And then I was talking with my therapist, who said, “Don’t you work with couples?”

    And I said, sure, I work with people in relationships, and no matter what the total configuration of the relationship, people usually notice conflict in pairs.  And she said, “do you talk about it?” And I said, “not much,” because I don’t.  She wanted to know why.

    Partly, that’s because not everyone’s a great fit for my style.

    Partly, that’s because I’ve had my share of both successes and failures in relationships, and I wish I had more successes and fewer failures.

    On the other hand, I’ve had plenty of time and help in the postmortem, and damn have I got tools.

    Lots of tools.

    So anyway, at the encouragement of said therapist, and clients ranging from “spice up my marriage” to “how do we transition to polyamory gracefully”, I give you my first video about relationships.  I did it, kid you not, with my phone clipped to a maple sapling in my yard, and it cuts out at the end…but #doitanyway.  Want to work with me?  Head over to leelasinha.com or drop me an email.  Rates are $150/hour and typically you’ll work with me for 4-12 hours total in a few long (2-4 hour) sessions before you’re done.

    it changes the world

    by  • April 29, 2015 • Uncategorized

    Why does pleasure matter, anyway? I’ve got a whole website here, devoted to pleasure, which sounds shallow and materialistic and a whole host of other things, if you let it. But I don’t let it. Because that’s missing the point entirely. Pleasure matters because it matters, because it’s part of the human experience, because...

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    leapfrog and holocracy

    by  • April 1, 2015 • Uncategorized

    I was just reading an article about Holocracy in Fast Company, and it seems to me that the “you can’t x until you y” formula comes straight out of the older thinking and leadership models and as such, may be becoming outdated. We’ve all known (or heard about) kids who ran before they walked,...

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    Step Up

    by  • March 25, 2015 • Uncategorized

    One day (I was about ten) I found out that someone thought I was a snob. I found out because they lashed out. I had no idea. I was shy. We were in a photography class. I was trying a different hairstyle and it was a pain in the ass, so I was constantly...

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    memo: to everyone who knew me

    by  • March 13, 2015 • Uncategorized

    Memo: to everyone who knew me when don’t expect me to be depressed. He’s not welcome anymore.   When you expect depression, I spend a lot of energy fighting gravity. I’d rather use that energy to keep re-terraforming my brain, which is much more rewarding.   I know it’s hard.  You have expected depression for so...

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