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    Step Up

    by  • March 25, 2015 • Uncategorized

    One day (I was about ten) I found out that someone thought I was a snob. I found out because they lashed out. I had no idea. I was shy. We were in a photography class. I was trying a different hairstyle and it was a pain in the ass, so I was constantly...

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    memo: to everyone who knew me

    by  • March 13, 2015 • Uncategorized

    Memo: to everyone who knew me when don’t expect me to be depressed. He’s not welcome anymore.   When you expect depression, I spend a lot of energy fighting gravity. I’d rather use that energy to keep re-terraforming my brain, which is much more rewarding.   I know it’s hard.  You have expected depression for so...

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    stay here

    by  • February 11, 2015 • Uncategorized

    I was meditating this morning. Last night I watched the chakra scene from Avatar: The Last Airbender. I’m sure that helped inspire this. There is no point in struggling for nonattachment. That is an attachment in itself. When nonattachment comes, it will be time to leave the earthly plane. Until then, attachment is what...

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    on mats and cats

    by  • February 10, 2015 • Uncategorized

    This could be about my cat.   He’s beautiful and sweet, 25 lbs, laid back, totally the opposite of his brother.   He has long hair and a slightly flattened face–seems like he’s probably half Persian, but you know how shelter cats are.  He likes pets, sleeping on the bed, and pets.   For...

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    seeking impermanence

    by  • January 11, 2015 • Uncategorized

    The thing about impermanence is that it cuts both ways The plant in the cup dies The wild things die Our pets die So do we. On the other hand this Too Shall pass: Illness, grey days, the seeming Endlessness of winter. Mostly. For a select few The illness passes only into death, The...

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    when family comes to work

    by  • January 3, 2015 • Uncategorized

    One of the things about being a minister, or working in any kind of volunteer organization, is that you start to see really clearly how the lines between work and home get blurred. Volunteers, after all, are not in work mode–they are on their own time, doing something for fun or to contribute because...

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    Navigating the Pain

    by  • December 29, 2014 • Uncategorized

    I’ve been thinking about how pleasure meets intense pain. Here’s what today looked like. Want to hear me read this? It’s here. So I’m lying here on my back, trying to navigate the incessant pain, the kind that presses and burns and shoots from one place to another. It doesn’t stay still, but there...

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    on becoming a mage

    by  • December 1, 2014 • Uncategorized

    Nobody ever tells you Hey, wake up wake up, this Is the day you become a mage! The magician school comes for you at noon! It’s not like Harry Potter No Hagrid no professors who turn into cats, no owls… …well, not many And they don’t carry mail. Just messages that turn your head...

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    It Will Change You

    by  • November 29, 2014 • Uncategorized

    What people don’t tell you about healing from trauma would fill a book, an encyclopedia, all the leaves of all the trees of Sherwood Forest, all the grains of sand in the Caribbean. What people don’t tell you could scare you off from ever doing the work or it could make it seem like...

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    This is How I Pray

    by  • November 12, 2014 • Uncategorized

    When I pray this is how I pray Hands clasped before me on my pillow Curled on my side Before the day has breached the raw and sleepy ramparts Here where the call to prayer is too loud to be overrun by lists or fears Of not enough, not good enough, Of being devoted...

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