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    don’t give up

    by  • May 19, 2015 • Uncategorized

    I shared this on my Facebook feed recently; it’s an article about how someone realized she was criticizing everything her partner did, in a way that was neither helpful nor respectful, and was probably damaging.

    It’s Just Hamburger Meat

    And then I was talking with my therapist, who said, “Don’t you work with couples?”

    And I said, sure, I work with people in relationships, and no matter what the total configuration of the relationship, people usually notice conflict in pairs.  And she said, “do you talk about it?” And I said, “not much,” because I don’t.  She wanted to know why.

    Partly, that’s because not everyone’s a great fit for my style.

    Partly, that’s because I’ve had my share of both successes and failures in relationships, and I wish I had more successes and fewer failures.

    On the other hand, I’ve had plenty of time and help in the postmortem, and damn have I got tools.

    Lots of tools.

    So anyway, at the encouragement of said therapist, and clients ranging from “spice up my marriage” to “how do we transition to polyamory gracefully”, I give you my first video about relationships.  I did it, kid you not, with my phone clipped to a maple sapling in my yard, and it cuts out at the end…but #doitanyway.  Want to work with me?  Head over to leelasinha.com or drop me an email.  Rates are $150/hour and typically you’ll work with me for 4-12 hours total in a few long (2-4 hour) sessions before you’re done.

    it changes the world

    by  • April 29, 2015 • Uncategorized

    Why does pleasure matter, anyway? I’ve got a whole website here, devoted to pleasure, which sounds shallow and materialistic and a whole host of other things, if you let it. But I don’t let it. Because that’s missing the point entirely. Pleasure matters because it matters, because it’s part of the human experience, because...

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    leapfrog and holocracy

    by  • April 1, 2015 • Uncategorized

    I was just reading an article about Holocracy in Fast Company, and it seems to me that the “you can’t x until you y” formula comes straight out of the older thinking and leadership models and as such, may be becoming outdated. We’ve all known (or heard about) kids who ran before they walked,...

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    Step Up

    by  • March 25, 2015 • Uncategorized

    One day (I was about ten) I found out that someone thought I was a snob. I found out because they lashed out. I had no idea. I was shy. We were in a photography class. I was trying a different hairstyle and it was a pain in the ass, so I was constantly...

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    memo: to everyone who knew me

    by  • March 13, 2015 • Uncategorized

    Memo: to everyone who knew me when don’t expect me to be depressed. He’s not welcome anymore.   When you expect depression, I spend a lot of energy fighting gravity. I’d rather use that energy to keep re-terraforming my brain, which is much more rewarding.   I know it’s hard.  You have expected depression for so...

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    stay here

    by  • February 11, 2015 • Uncategorized

    I was meditating this morning. Last night I watched the chakra scene from Avatar: The Last Airbender. I’m sure that helped inspire this. There is no point in struggling for nonattachment. That is an attachment in itself. When nonattachment comes, it will be time to leave the earthly plane. Until then, attachment is what...

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    on mats and cats

    by  • February 10, 2015 • Uncategorized

    This could be about my cat.   He’s beautiful and sweet, 25 lbs, laid back, totally the opposite of his brother.   He has long hair and a slightly flattened face–seems like he’s probably half Persian, but you know how shelter cats are.  He likes pets, sleeping on the bed, and pets.   For...

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    seeking impermanence

    by  • January 11, 2015 • Uncategorized

    The thing about impermanence is that it cuts both ways The plant in the cup dies The wild things die Our pets die So do we. On the other hand this Too Shall pass: Illness, grey days, the seeming Endlessness of winter. Mostly. For a select few The illness passes only into death, The...

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    when family comes to work

    by  • January 3, 2015 • Uncategorized

    One of the things about being a minister, or working in any kind of volunteer organization, is that you start to see really clearly how the lines between work and home get blurred. Volunteers, after all, are not in work mode–they are on their own time, doing something for fun or to contribute because...

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    Navigating the Pain

    by  • December 29, 2014 • Uncategorized

    I’ve been thinking about how pleasure meets intense pain. Here’s what today looked like. Want to hear me read this? It’s here. So I’m lying here on my back, trying to navigate the incessant pain, the kind that presses and burns and shoots from one place to another. It doesn’t stay still, but there...

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