it’s time to take the pressure off.
Did your libido disappear?
Maybe it vanished suddenly;
maybe it faded away like your favorite red-checked tablecloth.
Either way, you don’t know where it went.
And there’s an avalanche of emotion that goes with it:
shame, fear, guilt, worry.
what if I’m with the wrong person?
what if my relationship is dying?
what if I’m broken forever?
what is wrong with me?
Sweetie, nothing’s wrong with you.
At first, desire comes easily to many of us. We don’t have to date or kiss or any of that stuff until it stops being eeeewwww and starts being enticing. And then once we do start, we just figure it will keep being there, like a favorite pair of jeans…unless Something Is Wrong.
Everything around us reinforces that idea.
Everything around us is lying.
People change. Bodies change. Hormones change. Libidos change. We’re human. It’s what we do. Stress, time, age, mood, circumstances–it all goes into the pot, and it all gets mixed around. We have this idea that we get out of adolescence (finally!) and into adulthood (I can’t wait!) and then everything becomes simple and straightforward and stops changing so damn much. And it all gets easy.
So okay, it doesn’t get easy like that. Change keeps happening. We can learn to feel the ease, but not by resisting our natural flow. That’s like trying to dam up a river.
Learning to move and keep moving is the best way to relax.
So it is with libido. You can’t force it. Everything changes–levels of erotic and sexual desire included.
You’re not broken.
You haven’t failed.
You are perfectly normal.
And you are not alone.
But it’s a rough place to be. I’ve been there, more than once. And I’m getting better at it but there are still those initial waves of doubt and fear to ride through.
I can ride them with you. I can walk this path with you.
We’ll figure out what’s going on.
We’ll lay out your choices.
We’ll discuss how to talk with your partner(s) in a healthy, gentle, non-blaming way.
Most important, we’ll keep you in motion: without stress, without pressure.
We’ll find places where you and your partner(s) can meet halfway whether or not you decide to have sex.
We’ll work toward the strength of your relationship.
And the strength of your future.
Ease. Grace. Pleasure.
Book a 30 minute free consultation now. Send me an email and we’ll find a time: firstname.lastname@example.org.
It’s time to take the pressure off.