• Step Up

    by  • March 25, 2015

    One day (I was about ten) I found out that someone thought I was a snob. I found out because they lashed out. I had no idea. I was shy. We were in a photography class. I was trying a different hairstyle and it was a pain in the ass, so I was constantly...

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    intensives: be perfect already!

    by  • March 16, 2015

    So about being intense.  It means that I dive RIGHT IN to whatever I’m doing.  (This is kind of funny because I still have a fear of diving that prevents me from going headfirst into the water, pretty much ever.  Working on it.  Not there yet. Anyway…) I dive in.  Both feet.  Sometimes I...

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    memo: to everyone who knew me

    by  • March 13, 2015

    Memo: to everyone who knew me when don’t expect me to be depressed. He’s not welcome anymore.   When you expect depression, I spend a lot of energy fighting gravity. I’d rather use that energy to keep re-terraforming my brain, which is much more rewarding.   I know it’s hard.  You have expected depression for so...

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    intensity and…pleasure

    by  • February 23, 2015

    Intensive: pleasure So as an intensive, I’ve had an interesting relationship with pleasure. Maybe I should start here: a few weeks ago I was sitting in a friend’s living room.  We were discussing tantra and energy and this thing called a kundalini awakening, which is basically a way of talking about what happens when...

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    stay here

    by  • February 11, 2015

    I was meditating this morning. Last night I watched the chakra scene from Avatar: The Last Airbender. I’m sure that helped inspire this. There is no point in struggling for nonattachment. That is an attachment in itself. When nonattachment comes, it will be time to leave the earthly plane. Until then, attachment is what...

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    on mats and cats

    by  • February 10, 2015

    This could be about my cat.   He’s beautiful and sweet, 25 lbs, laid back, totally the opposite of his brother.   He has long hair and a slightly flattened face–seems like he’s probably half Persian, but you know how shelter cats are.  He likes pets, sleeping on the bed, and pets.   For...

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    seeking impermanence

    by  • January 11, 2015

    The thing about impermanence is that it cuts both ways The plant in the cup dies The wild things die Our pets die So do we. On the other hand this Too Shall pass: Illness, grey days, the seeming Endlessness of winter. Mostly. For a select few The illness passes only into death, The...

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    when family comes to work

    by  • January 3, 2015

    One of the things about being a minister, or working in any kind of volunteer organization, is that you start to see really clearly how the lines between work and home get blurred. Volunteers, after all, are not in work mode–they are on their own time, doing something for fun or to contribute because...

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    Navigating the Pain

    by  • December 29, 2014

    I’ve been thinking about how pleasure meets intense pain. Here’s what today looked like. Want to hear me read this? It’s here. So I’m lying here on my back, trying to navigate the incessant pain, the kind that presses and burns and shoots from one place to another. It doesn’t stay still, but there...

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    on becoming a mage

    by  • December 1, 2014

    Nobody ever tells you Hey, wake up wake up, this Is the day you become a mage! The magician school comes for you at noon! It’s not like Harry Potter No Hagrid no professors who turn into cats, no owls… …well, not many And they don’t carry mail. Just messages that turn your head...

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