How Should I Say This?

conversational word wizardry for the tongue-tied

It’s 30 minutes; one damned awkward conversation, fixed.

You know what you want to say.

And you know how you don’t want to say it.

You know the ones.  It’s the stuff you have to say but you can’t figure out how.  You have the blurt–the version that your brain keeps offering–but you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that is NOT the way to go about it.

“You’re a terrible employee” ” Your breath really stinks” “yes that dress does make your ass look fat” “I’m not having orgasms” “I can’t stand your best friend” “Your children are no longer welcome here” “I need a refund” “your product sucks”


Just thinking about it probably makes you feel squidgy.  When it’s me, I have the same problem.  But when it’s not MY conversation, I’m magically transformed into the graceful wordsmith.  I won’t suggest that you lie.  I WILL give you words that will work better.

We’ll spend 30 minutes or less.  You’ll tell me what the blurt is, I might ask some questions, and I’ll suggest a reframing that better captures what you actually want to say, once the anger, frustration, fear, defensiveness, and hurt are given some space.

You are welcome to write it down exactly (many of my clients do) or just get the gist and riff on it.

The inestimable, lovely, and generally forthright Catherine Caine of Mediocrity Be Damned and Cash and Joy says,

The quality of my responses – especially under pressure or in tense situations – is so much better now, that I look back at myself before I knew you and say, “How the hell did I function when I was such a dumbass about talking to people?”

Glad I could help, Catherine. 🙂

So if you’ve got an awkward conversation that you just can’t quite navigate, text me at 612-209-6611 to set up a time.  We’ll book 30 minutes, I’ll fire off an invoice, and you’ll get some words to work with.


your body knows. Listen.